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LGBTQ+

What Is Dating Violence?

There are many different types of dating violence such as physical violence, sexual violence, psychological abuse, economic abuse, and stalking. Dating and relationship violence is a pattern of coercive and abusive tactics that are done by one person in a relationship to gain power and control over another person. It is okay to say no to sex during a relationship. If you are forced to any sexual activity, it is sexual abuse. 

 

LGBTQ+ Relationship Violence

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals can experience slightly different dating violence. It can be a bit different because it can involve outing a person’s sexual orientation. It can also include reinforcing fears that no one will help the individual because of their sexual orientation. They can also question the individual’s commitment to the relationship. 

Warning Signs of Abusive Behaviors

  • Exhibits jealousy when you talk to others
  • Consistently accuses a partner of flirting or cheating
  • Tries to control where you go, whom you go with, what you wear, say, do, etc.
  • Attempts to isolate you from loved ones
  • Uses force, coercion, or manipulation in sexual activity
  • Degrades or puts you down

Resources for Learning More about Intimate Partner Violence

 

 

 

 

 

Dating Violence and Abuse, Office on Women’s Health

Dating Violence, U.S. Department of Justice

Preventing Teen Dating Violence, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Power and Control: Break Free From Abuse, National Domestic Violence Hotline

 


Written by Denisse Ochoa, BA Sociology Candidate at University of Wisconsin-Parkside, ZCenter Outreach Intern 

ZCenter aims to end sexual violence, mobilize and educate the public, and support survivors of sexual assault. Our blog addresses issues related to ending oppression and violence, since all oppression and violence are intersectional with sexual violence. All ZCenter blog posts are written by state certified staff, interns, and volunteers. For questions on authorship or content, please email info@zcenter.org.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Please click below for a pdf version with all links needed for registration:

ZCenter SAAM Events 2022

*Standing Silent Witness at our Dempster Street location has been cancelled for 4/22/22, due to rain.

* Please note that the webinar for 4/20, Talking about Safety with Kids, has been cancelled.

 

 

 

Pop Culture Representation of Sexual Education

More and more studies are coming out that show the importance of comprehensive sexual education. Earlier this year, our governing body (the Illinois Coalition against Sexual Assault) encouraged agencies to participate in Sex Education National Week of Action. The coalition views comprehensive sexual education as a form of sexual assault prevention education (for more information, please contact Sean Black). This may be as a result of more and more youth demanding that they receive adequate comprehensive sexual education and more and more people are lamenting the fact that they did not receive proper sexual education. 

On top of that, society is receiving more and more information about comprehensive sexual education via TV shows and movies. Not only that, but these pop culture moments are providing the evidence that comprehensive sexual education is important. Popular TV shows like Euphoria, Sex Education, and Big Mouth are diving into this previously taboo topic. And I, for one, would have loved to see this when I was in high school.

As stated by Anna Silman, “Teenage sexuality has hardly been absent from TV, but its depiction has tended to veer between one of two poles — either idealized, melodramatic romance that doesn’t come close to capturing the sloppy awkwardness of real life, or quasi After-School Specials replete with sexual assault, diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and all of intercourse’s worst consequences.”

If these are the two options that you have, you are gonna be left confused and disoriented. Left with questions like: What is the right way to go? Is there a middle ground? Or do I have to choose one way and just stick with that? This leads to a culture where words like prude, promiscuous, dirty, clean are thrown around and often directed at female and non-binary identity students. I would have loved to see myself referenced in the material that I was learning. Representation matters! Seeing yourself matters! Sexual education has long been focused around white, European, upper class values that have long commodified the bodies of People of Color. 

Comprehensive sexual education sets out to alleviate this divide. It does not advocate for the youth to be having sex whenever or however, but just like any other subject it gives students the tools and techniques they need when they are “out in the real world.” They might not experience sex in high school, but I also never used many of my calculus skills until I got out of high school and those were still taught to me during my time.

 

View this AWESOME explainer video:

 

Additional Resources:

 


Written by Cassidy Herberth, Prevention and Education Specialist.

ZCenter aims to end sexual violence, mobilize and educate the public, and support survivors of sexual assault. Our blog addresses issues related to ending oppression and violence, since all oppression and violence are intersectional with sexual violence. All ZCenter blog posts are written by state certified staff, interns, and volunteers. For questions on authorship or content, please email info@zcenter.org.

 

Angela Davis: Activist, Author, Professor

We continue to highlight the achievements and foundational work of many historical figures for Black History Month, especially those connected to anti-oppression work. We will now look at the contributions of Angela Davis.

Angela Davis is a political activist, author, and professor. She was born in Birmingham, Alabama in 1944. Angela experienced racism at a very young age. Birmingham was one of the most segregated cities in the country. Her neighborhood was nicknamed “Dynamite Hill” because of how often the Klu Klux Klan targeted the homes. Angela believed that capitalism and racism were dangerous for America. Angela joined the Black Panthers which was created to unify Black people. The Black Panthers fought against police brutality against the African American community. One of the Black Panthers’ many achievements is that they helped provide medical clinics and free breakfast to children. Angela fought for economic, racial, and gender equality. She came out as being lesbian and fought to tackle the oppression for the LGBTQ community. While Angela did spend 18 months in jail, she was able to understand how mistreated women were in jail. Musician John Lennon and his wife Yoko Ono recorded a song about her called “Angela.” She has published nine books. A couple of her books are Women, Race, and Class; Are Prisons Obsolete?; Women, Culture and Politics; and Freedom is a Constant Struggle: Ferguson, Palestine, and The Foundations of a Movement. She also spent time lecturing around the world, including Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia, and South America.  

 

Watch John Lennon’s and Yoko Ono’s song Angela:

 

To learn more about important Black History Month and important historical figures please see the attached resources. 

 

 


Written by Denisse Ochoa, BA Sociology Candidate at University of Wisconsin-Parkside, ZCenter Outreach Intern 

ZCenter aims to end sexual violence, mobilize and educate the public, and support survivors of sexual assault. Our blog addresses issues related to ending oppression and violence, since all oppression and violence are intersectional with sexual violence. All ZCenter blog posts are written by state certified staff, interns, and volunteers. For questions on authorship or content, please email info@zcenter.org.

LGBTQ+ Center Lake County: Community Partner Highlight

This month, we are proud to highlight the great work of one of our community partners, LGBTQ+ Center Lake County. This organization has collaborated with ZCenter on Pride events, a staff Safe Zone Training, and referrals for youth support, just to name a few of their great services. We are fortunate to have this agency in our community and we offer you here more information from a recent conversation with their Executive Director, Nikki Michele.

 

  1. Please share what your organization offers and how people can access your services.

Just like so many other organizations, we have had to pivot our services during the most recent Omicron wave. Currently we are running two virtual support groups (one for adults, one for youth), and a book club. We are working on setting up a parent support group (fill out a survey here). We also host two monthly social events: Queer Happy Hour on the 4th Thursday of the month, rotating venues around Lake County, and an LGBTea & Coffee on the first Wednesday morning of the month. We are also busy providing SafeZone trainings to a wide array of organizations around Lake County. We are looking forward to our second annual Lake County PrideFest, June 4th, in Waukegan. We also have a Discord server to serve as a virtual “drop in space.”

 

  1. Can you tell us about where you are located?

As a nonprofit that was established during COVID, we’ve had to delay getting a brick and mortar space. However, we have been strategizing an ideal location, and are currently considering one of the more eastern Lake County townships. They tend to be home to more marginalized communities (People of Color, low income, homeless) who have less access to services and transportation. Having a community center in eastern Lake County would make it easier to reach this vulnerable demographic. 

 

  1. During Black History Month, we often share statistics on how People of Color are more vulnerable to sexual assault (RAINN.org). Could you share how you reach out to People of Color who are also LGBTQ+? Also, how would you describe the unique experiences that you see for LGBTQ+ People of Color?

The LGBTQ+ Pride movement owes its very inception to Black trans women. QTBIPOC individuals have always been on the frontlines of the charge for equality. From Bayard Rustin in the Civil Rights movement, to activists like Marsha P. Johnson, Miss Major Griffin-Gracy, and Stormé DeLarverie at the 1969 Stonewall riots, to the Black Lives Matter movement founders Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi and Alicia Garza, QTBIPOC people throughout history have driven enormous advancements in media, the arts, sports, activism, advocacy and politics, which have enhanced the lives of people everywhere. Despite these amazing triumphs, QTBIPOC consistently experience widespread discrimination and violence in every realm of society. AntiBlackness and anti-LGBTQ attitudes have created systems of oppression with real consequences: Black LGBTQ people face some of the highest risks of violence, workplace discrimination, homelessness, HIV and AIDS, and healthcare disparities and mistreatment in America. Moreover, women of color, who must also contend with sexism prevalent in our society, are even further impacted by these issues. In short, being a Black trans woman in America means you’re far more likely than most other people to experience serious roadblocks and harms, in the form of everything from extreme poverty to violent murder.

 

  1. For any readers who want to know more about how to be an ally for LGBTQ+ folks (and for People of Color), what do you recommend? Are there resources you can share?

I truly believe one of the most impactful things we can do is also one of the simplest: listen to marginalized people’s experiences. In the wake of George Floyd’s brutal street execution, I was personally challenged to follow Black social media content creators, keep my mouth shut and LISTEN. This simple act has begun rewiring my perceptions of the Black experience. Because we live in an inherently bigoted society that actively promotes cisgender heterosexual white men at the expense of all other groups, we have been imbibing societal discrimination and bias daily along with our tap water. We must intentionally push back against our hardwired mindsets. As we listen to others’ experiences, we gain valuable insight into their very humanity, which deepens our ability to empathize and, in turn, transforms us into effective advocates. So, my challenge to anyone seeking to do better is to seek out QTBIPOC content and amplify their invaluable contributions. 

 

  1. Is there anything else you would like our readers to know about your work for social justice and your services for the community?

I am very proud to be partnering with Mayor Taylor (Waukegan) to perform the audit with the Human Rights Campaign that will assign a score to Waukegan for its LGBTQ+ inclusivity and safety. Part of this effort has included making major changes within the Waukegan Police Department to address the decades-long bias and discrimination (of LGBTQ+ folks, and Black and Brown lives) that was all too prevalent. I’m thrilled to see the Lake County seat take a lead in this way, and hope it will put additional pressure on surrounding townships to follow suit.  

 

To learn more about LGBTQ+ Center Lake County, please visit their website: https://lgbtqcenterlakecounty.com/

 

Notes on acronyms and abbreviations used:

  • LGBTQ+: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/Transsexual/Two-Spirit, Queer/Questioning, and Others. Also commonly used is LGBTQIA: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/Transsexual/Two-Spirit, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, and Asexual. Learn more at Seattle Pride.
  • BIPOC: Black, Indigenous, People of Color. Learn more at VOX.
  • QTBIPOC: Queer, Transgender, Black, Indigenous, People of Color. Learn more from UCLA and USC.

Written by Kristin Jones, PhD, EdM, Outreach Supervisor.

ZCenter aims to end sexual violence, mobilize and educate the public, and support survivors of sexual assault. Our blog addresses issues related to ending oppression and violence, since all oppression and violence are intersectional with sexual violence. All ZCenter blog posts are written by state certified staff, interns, and volunteers. For questions on authorship or content, please email info@zcenter.org.

Support and Resources during the Holidays

This can be a joyous and festive time of year for many. It can also be a time when sexual assault survivors feel triggered, a time when abuse within families becomes more prevalent, or a time when basic needs are unmet. We at ZCenter hope to support you in whatever way we can. Please look through our list of resources and self-care ideas if you are experiencing this time of year as challenging. May we all have the support we need.

 

General Assistance

For general information about Lake County resources, including shelter, food, counseling, hotlines, etc., please reach out to United Way of Lake County by calling 211.

For United Way of Metro Chicago, call 311.

Sexual Abuse, Assault, or Harassment

  1. ZCenter’s Crisis Hotline: 847-872-7700
  2. ZCenter general information: 847-244-1187 or info@zcenter.org
  3. RAINN national hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
  4. Polaris Project (for human trafficking) hotline: 800-373-7888

Domestic Violence

  1. A Safe Place for Help Crisis Line: (847) 249-4450 or 1-800-600-SAFE
  2. A Safe Place for Help general information: (847) 360-6471 or info@asafeplaceforhelp.org
  3. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
  4. National Coalition Against Domestic Violence hotline: 800-799-7233

LGBTQ+ Resources

  1. LGBTQ+ Center Lake County has compiled a list of resources for the LGBTQ+ community in Lake County, found here.
  2. National Suicide Prevention 24-hour Lifeline: 800-273-TALK
  3. The Trevor Project 24-hour Hotline: 866-488-7386

Servicios en español

  1. Mano a Mano – Round Lake (Bilingual family resources, advocacy): (847) 201-1521
  2. La Paloma (housing, counseling, abuse/trafficking survivors): 847-731-7165 x190. For immediate crisis: 800-600-SAFE (800-600-7233)
  3. HACES: Hispanice American Community Education and Services – Waukegan (Immigration, family resources,DACA, Bilingual GED): (847) 244-0300

Mental Health/Suicide

  1. Text-A-Tip is a 24/7 anonymous text crisis hotline offering emotional support for middle school and high school youth. Simply text LAKECO (and your message) to the number 1-844-823-5323.  Within seconds, you will receive an automated response, and within minutes a live mental health counselor will respond to your text.  All messages are sent through a cloaking server located offsite that keeps the communication completely anonymous.
  2. The Lake County Health Department’s Crisis Care Hotline: 847- 377-8088
  3. SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
  4. NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
  5. Nicasa Behavioral Health Services (Behavioral/Emotional Support, SubstanceAbuse): (847) 546-6450 or info@nicasa.org
  6. National Suicide Prevention 24/7 LifeLine: Dial 988, or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) en español: 1-888-628-9454
  7. National 24/7 Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741-741

 

Self-Care During the Holidays

The National Suicide Prevention LifeLine recommends the following for self-care ideas for December and beyond. 

  • Take a walk outside
  • Write a love letter to yourself
  • Write about something you are grateful for in your life (it can be a person, place, or thing)
  • Create a happy playlist and a coping playlist
  • Treat yourself to a favorite snack
  • Watch your favorite movie
  • Forgive someone
  • Forgive yourself
  • Say thank you to someone who has helped you recently
  • Create a DIY self-care kit of things that make you feel better
  • Take your medication on time
  • Take a new fitness class at the gym (yoga, Zumba, etc.)
  • Plan a lunch date with someone you haven’t seen in a while
  • Pamper yourself with an at-home spa day
  • Take a day off from social media and the Internet
  • Reach out to your support system
  • Cuddle with your pets or a friend’s pet
  • Take the time to stop, stand and stretch for 2 minutes
  • Wake up a little earlier and enjoy your a morning cup of tea or coffee before the morning rush
  • Take a hot shower or bath
  • Take yourself out to dinner
  • Volunteer
  • Start that one project you’ve been contemplating for a while
  • Sit with your emotions, and allow yourself to feel and accept them. It’s okay to laugh, cry, just feel whatever you’re feeling with no apologies!
  • Cook a favorite meal from scratch
  • Take a 5-minute break in your day
  • Compliment someone (and yourself, too!)
  • Give yourself permission to say no
  • De-clutter your mind: write down 5 things that are bothering you, and then literally throw them away
  • Donate 3 pieces of clothing that you no longer wear
  • Take the time to find 5 beautiful things during your daily routine
  • Take a mental health day from school, work, etc.
  • Take a nap
  • Reach out to the Lifeline

 

Written by Kristin Jones, PhD, EdM, Outreach Supervisor. 

ZCenter aims to end sexual violence, mobilize and educate the public, and support survivors of sexual assault. Our blog addresses issues related to ending oppression and violence, since all oppression and violence are intersectional with sexual violence. All ZCenter blog posts are written by state certified staff, interns, and volunteers. For questions on authorship or content, please email info@zcenter.org.

 

It’s Just a Bunch of Hocus Pocus (But is it feminist?)


It would be more than two decades before I would enjoy Disney’s
Hocus Pocus. I found it ridiculous. The last witch hanged in the Salem Witch Trials was on September 22, 1692; the film starts with Salem townspeople hanging witches a year later in 1693. I knew that no one in 17th Century New England wore the bright colors of the witches. I also knew that those hanged in Salem were the ones who would not admit to witchcraft, not the openly practicing witches, as in the movie.

I was always bothered by the stereotypes that the movie perpetuated. Witches harm and/or kill humans. Witches are ugly old hags. Magic is a means to cause harm. At worst, the film is complicit in the patriarchal notion that only Abrahamic religions are true religions, not earth-based religions like witchcraft. At best, it was goofy. Silly. 

But there is something magical about a Halloween movie that was filmed in Salem. There is something nostalgic about walking through the Salem Common and remembering where Max and Allison walked through the autumn leaves. The movie celebrates Halloween, with a cult-level following. As I celebrate Halloween with my own children and learn its joy all over again, I begin to see how Halloween allows us to break social norms, slip into different roles, bend gender norms, and face our fears. We connect with a child within us that we repress all other days. 

Also, who doesn’t love a witch movie with a talking black cat?

In the film, protagonist Max famously says, “It’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus.” But is it feminist? I’m not convinced that Hocus Pocus is a feminist film. The teen female protagonist is reduced to her sexual body parts. “Max likes your yabos. In fact, he loves them,” taunts Max’s little sister. The witches obsess over their appearance and beauty, succumbing to the societal norms about how women should look. All the harm that they cause is directly related to making themselves look younger. None of this feels empowering to those identifying as women.

As intersectionalists, we look to fight oppression of any kind. The film has a striking lack of any People of Color, though we know the town of Salem, Massachusetts is not exclusively white. We also see no LGBTQIA individuals in the film; everyone is defined by heteronormative and cisgender characteristics, though I know for a fact that Salem has Pride events. As feminists and sex educators, we also question the use of virginity in the film. A virgin lit the black flame candle, bringing the witches back from the grave. But we find this problematic as we look at the patriarchal use of virginity to oppress women. When does one’s sexual journey begin? Must we define our sexual journey by the first penile penetration? Why does virginity even matter unless women are property?

But again, my heart swells to see Salem in the fall. Bette Midler sings I Put a Spell on You. It’s very hard to love Halloween and not love this movie. These witchy women, as despicable as they are, are defying social norms, despite the many threats to their safety. They have no dependence on men and they do as they please. The teenager Allison has choices about dating the protagonist; she decides on her own time about romantic entanglement, even after rejecting him at first. The young sister Dani speaks her mind and asserts her needs. 

Hocus Pocus would be quite a different film in 2021, in the time of the #MeToo Movement, the Women’s Marches, and Black Lives Matter. Is there hope? Let’s see when Hocus Pocus 2 comes out next fall. In the meantime, don’t light any black flame candles.

 


Written by Kristin Jones, PhD, EdM, Outreach Supervisor

All ZCenter blog posts are written by state certified staff, interns, and volunteers. For questions on authorship or content, please email kjones@zcenter.org.

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